♦️ This is part 4 of the series: Grown-Up Democracy — on voters, politicians, and who should be allowed to run the world. Read part 1 here: The Problem Isn’t Trump or Orban. It’s Everyone Who Made Them Possible Read part 2 here: A Test to Vote? Could That Save Us from Narcissistic Maniacs? Read part 3 here: What Should Be Required to Become a Politician?
Anyone who has ever worked with a narcissist, and that is most of us, knows what whirl-winding energy suckers they are. While sipping a quiet cup of coffee on a Saturday morning, you may catch yourself rehearsing what to say to your narcissistic boss at Monday’s meeting, how to evade a scolding or whether to accept that boring business trip just to avoid her for a few days. The narcissist has entered your head.
Narcissists in Politics
Politics is the perfect playground for narcissists, offering them millions of heads to enter. That ensures them a supply of what they are dependent on: Attention. Along with that comes the satisfaction of another prominent urge: Power.
In politics, they can also bring to bear all their charm and manipulation tactics. Their talents for blame-shifting and back-stabbing can find their right elements.
Narcissists have no values or convictions. Hence, as politicians, they are only interested in results that make them look good. They don’t care about hospitals, affordable housing or railways. They break agreements and betray people, often without noticing. Responsibility and consequences are words to be used against other people. They don’t read, they don’t reflect, they don’t listen. As a result, they have very poor judgement.
Narcissists love politics but detest democracy, because the latter puts strains on what they can do.
All of this may sound familiar to you, but one thing is often overlooked when it comes to narcissists.
The narcissist is never alone
The self-serving narcissist who ends up running a country is just the tip of an iceberg.
They are the products of a narcissistic culture. A culture they themselves have helped create, spread and reinforce.
It’s like finding an ant in your house. That ant is never alone. And you probably have a huge and costly problem to deal with.
The man in the White House is the predictable result of an American culture that celebrates narcissism—the race for “success,” the worshipping of fame, the I-am-stupid-and-proud-of-it mentality, the ruthless competition—in short, the me-me-me culture where Jesus and machine guns are a fine combination.
And voila! Out of that hat springs the Orange Man—the leading actor in his reality show called POTUS.*
But Trump is far from the only narcissist ending up in a position of power. It’s quite common. Leaders are more likely to be narcissistic than the rest of the population.
But how exactly does that happen?
The short answer: He or she had cohort after cohort of enchanting enablers.
*POTUS = President Of The United States.
Who are these enablers?
In politics, the obvious enablers are, of course, the voters. I have written about ignorant, enabling voters, so let’s look at other types of enablers. The ones you find within an organisation, be it a company or a political party.
Such enablers come in many flavours, but we can usually distinguish two main groups.
THE EXCUSERS
Firstly, you have the ardent excusers.
They are often idealists, dreaming of a better world, whatever that means to them. However, with strong idealism comes idealising. Idealists put people on pedestals to have objects that can bring about their wonderful world.
And that is what the ardent excusers do.
Hence, they frown upon any hint of criticism of their idols. “You misunderstand her.” “You are too critical of him.”
Before long, the charming facade of the newly arrived narcissist in the office begins to crack. The bullying starts to show itself. So do the terrifying outbursts, the need to have everything their way, the refusal to admit mistakes.
The ardent excuser knows something is wrong but pushes such disturbing thoughts away.
All is well if you pretend hard enough.
The excuses shift to “But she attracts voters.” “She is so capable.”
And the more the facade of the idolised narcissist cracks, the more the excusers double down to avoid their illusion from collapsing like a house of cards. An illusion they have invested so much of their being to uphold.
The excusers become victims of their own consistency. They hide “inside the walls of consistency to protect themselves from the troublesome consequences of thought,” as Robert Cialdini writes in his book “Influence.”
The longer you hang on to that excusing carousel, the more difficult it is to jump off. The excuses move further and further away from the truth, until the excusers hang sideways from the carousel.
Rumours about the narcissist’s sexual assaults are “Nothing but rumours.” Illicit means of funds “Can’t be verified.” Lies become “We all make mistakes.” Making fun of a junior staff member who started to cry is “A bad joke.” Temper tantrums are “Being passionate.”
THE NARCISSISTIC ENABLERS
The other prominent group of enablers are those with narcissistic traits themselves. Like the excusers, they dream of a wonderful world—but with little room for anybody other than themselves.
They are not fully fledged narcissists, but they have self-centred, attention-seeking and thin-skinned tendencies whose moral compasses can swirl in any direction.
The true adults in the organisation have held these people in check, telling the narcissistic Neds and Nancys to act like team players, to let other people shine, so that the whole office can shine together.
But now (finally!) this new guy allows them to be themselves.
Now, the narcissistic enablers understand how underappreciated they have been.
So, when Susan suggests they should consider the results from the Environmental Impact Assessment, the narcissistic enabler leans over, puts on a condescending look and says, “You must understand, Susan, that there are more important issues than the environment.” The real narcissist nods and grunts, “Well, Susan, perhaps you should consider becoming more like Greta? We are looking forward to the pictures of you being chained to a motorway.” The narcissistic enablers do their best to make the laughter sound natural.
There is a pity on Susan, of course, but being nice is so yesterday. And by the way, she is not that good. None of the others is. The narcissistic enablers feel that their shackles are off.
Their walk changes. From cautiously looking to the left and the right, they now stride, telling people to get out of their way.
Don’t come to them with any of that “in this together” nonsense anymore, or the “wider consequences” rubbish.
They are part of the booming band, and don’t you forget it.
The adults
But what about these true adults I have mentioned?
The true adults have had their doubts about this narcissist from the very beginning, but since they often constitute the minority in any organisation, the majority ignore their objections. “Come on! Look at him. Have you ever seen such talent?!”
And with the narcissist’s booming popularity, drawing the circle of enablers closer, the adults are shut out. It may begin with hints about the adult’s inabilities. That leads to rancid remarks. Followed by ostracism and open bullying. Soon, the adults leave, are being pushed out, or stand alone in a corner, tipping their toes with a mug of lukewarm coffee in their hand.
The true adults may have started their careers because they wanted to create something better. They liked to help people. They made great friends. Now, all that is gone out of the window.
When those adults disappear, the narcissistic party can start.
The narcissistic culture
The party doesn’t last long.
When the narcissists have gathered their cosy circle of yes-saying enablers, love-bombed senior managers, and made sure they get those promotions they are oh, so entitled to, the enablers wake up to the strict rules they must follow.
Don’t criticise the narcissist — not even inadvertently, by mentioning you dislike the colour purple, his or her favourite. “So, purple isn’t good enough for you?!”
Don’t ask inconvenient questions, not even a mild “Why are we doing this?
And always praise. Never, ever forget that. “As Mark suggested — originally an excellent idea of yours, sir...”
Break any of these rules, and you will find yourself in the out-group before you know it.
Some of the ardent excusers may start to get cold feet when reality creeps in, but where can they go? The narcissistic enablers, on the other hand, still believe they are on the winning team. The king or queen of the mountain throws other people under the bus at a whim, but what happens to others will not happen to them. They are too smart.
Before anyone realises what is happening, a transformation has taken place.
Trust is out, fear is in. Next year is out, now is in. Doing the right thing is out, cheating is in. Hearty laughter is out, hurtful jokes are in. Thought-through arguments are out, catch-phrases are in.
A narcissistic culture has been established.
Over time, that culture becomes more and more entrenched.
This is how Ramani Durvasula describes it in her excellent book “Don’t You Know Who I Am?”
Narcissistic and toxic leaders are also masterful at squeezing out dissenting voices.
And she continues … they are able to attract subservient lackeys who keep pumping them up. In this way, toxic leaders end up with toxic colleagues and toxic or brainwashed employees, with everyone joining the delusional chorus of voices to support the regime of the narcissistic leader.
The problem with narcissists is not about a toxic individual coming in and moving out. Enablers let the narcissists in, and once inside, they create a narcissistic culture or strengthen the narcissism that is already there. Unless we see a profound change in the American culture, we can only brace ourselves for the next Trump.
A narcissistic culture––within his party and beyond––is also why a much less dangerous, but narcissistic Boris Johnson could become prime minister in the UK. And the reason why a populist womaniser like Berlusconi could hold the same position in Italy. Or why a corrupt Sarkozy could be the president of France.
And to clarify: Narcissism is not a left versus right thing. Narcissism can come in any political colour. If anti-materialism and environmental activism are what give the narcissists power and attention, they go for that. They go for anything.
But is it possible to turn this around?
I say yes. As with corruption, it takes many years of hard work, even generations, but it is possible.
A first step in rooting out a narcissistic culture is to prevent new narcissists from getting through the door. That forces the organisation to hire more mature people.
And when it comes to politics, I have suggested that anyone entering politics should undergo testing for mental competence.
Likewise, they should be screened for narcissistic and psychopathic traits.
By the way, there is a strong link between narcissism and psychopathy. As Dr Ramani Durvasula notes, psychopathy can be seen as a more extreme form of narcissism. All psychopaths are narcissists to some extent, though not all narcissists are psychopaths.
Back to screening.
The Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI) is a widely recognised and reliable tool, often used in hiring processes.
So, why not make it mandatory for politicians?
It’s about time we ensure our leaders are not dependent on admiration, are contemptuous of democracy, fundamentally untrustworthy and cannibalistic—eating anyone for breakfast, and spitting out the leftovers.
And no matter how much they beg, cry or rumble about going to therapy and “fix” their problems, people high in narcissism or psychopathy should never ever be allowed to run for office.
But one test is not enough. That is why politicians should be evaluated for narcissism and psychopathy every time they take up a new position.
And the higher the office, the more rigorous the evaluation should be. Apart from the NPI test, they should even be evaluated by one or more psychologists.
During such a session, the politician would be tested on issues like:
Does he/she…
· fantasise about unlimited power?
· feel they deserve special treatment?
· recognise their responsibility when something goes wrong?
How does he/she…
· deal with others’ emotions? When somebody is sad or afraid?
· handle criticism?
In such a system, the Orange Man wouldn’t have stood a chance.
The question isn’t whether we can keep narcissists out. We do. The question is whether we have the will.
Links
Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
Narcissistic Personality Inventory
Pathological power: The danger of governments led by narcissists and psychopaths
A book about narcissism: “Don’t You Know Who I Am?” by Ramani S. Durvasula.
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